Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Sacred Moment


I’ve been able to help welcome so many lovely new little lives into this world.  With this amazing job of witnessing life we also have to be prepared to handle death.   Although it’s not commonly talked about many women experience early losses and miscarry.  As midwives it’s something that we sadly handle more often than we would like to.  However, it’s less common that we witness a delivery of a baby who has passed on.   Since being in St. Lucia there have been three stillborns.  After the first I asked the midwife how common it was for this to occur here and she told me it’s been a while since they’ve had any.  I’m that person who believes these types of things happen in three and I had a feeling after the second one that another may occur.  

 I walked into my morning shift just after a mother delivered a 28 week stillborn baby.  The midwife who did the birth told me the family would return and the mother wanted to say goodbye and take some pictures with her baby boy.  I was then asked to dress the baby and arrange for all of this to happen.
I asked the mom for a onesie, socks, a hat and a blanket that she wanted to dress her baby boy in.  

I’ve held so many new lives in my hands it was the first time for me to be holding death.   She told me his name was Trevon.  I dressed Trevon’s delicate cold little body and wrapped him in his blanket. When she was ready we walked together to the basket that I had placed him in.  I stood there with her as she said her final goodbye.  She was trying to be so strong but after a few minutes of looking lovingly at her son it was clear she couldn’t hold back her tears and neither could I. I handed her baby boy to her and took one last sweet picture of her kissing him, an image that will stay in my heart forever. I told her he looked peaceful and she smiled. We sat together not saying much. When she was ready I walked her back to her room where she showed me pictures of her 5year old son who she promised to snuggle tight when she returns home.  Before leaving my shift we hugged and she thanked me for being with her.

As much as I feel it’s a privilege to witness life, I felt privileged to be there in these last moments with this mom and her baby.  It felt sacred and a good reminder to me how fragile life is. 

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