I’ve been able to help welcome so many lovely new little
lives into this world. With this amazing job of witnessing life we also have to be prepared to handle death. Although it’s not commonly talked about many
women experience early losses and miscarry.
As midwives it’s something that we sadly handle more often than we would
like to. However, it’s less common that we
witness a delivery of a baby who has passed on. Since being in St. Lucia there have been
three stillborns. After the first I
asked the midwife how common it was for this to occur here and she told me it’s
been a while since they’ve had any. I’m
that person who believes these types of things happen in three and I had a
feeling after the second one that another may occur.
I walked into my morning shift just after a mother
delivered a 28 week stillborn baby. The
midwife who did the birth told me the family would return and the mother wanted
to say goodbye and take some pictures with her baby boy. I was then asked to dress the baby and arrange
for all of this to happen.
I asked the mom for a onesie, socks, a hat and a blanket
that she wanted to dress her baby boy in.
I’ve held so many new lives in my hands it was the first
time for me to be holding death. She told me his name was Trevon. I dressed Trevon’s delicate cold little body
and wrapped him in his blanket. When she was ready we walked together to the
basket that I had placed him in. I stood
there with her as she said her final goodbye.
She was trying to be so strong but after a few minutes of looking
lovingly at her son it was clear she couldn’t hold back her tears and neither
could I. I handed her baby boy to her and took one last sweet picture of her
kissing him, an image that will stay in my heart forever. I told her he looked
peaceful and she smiled. We sat together not saying much. When she was ready I
walked her back to her room where she showed me pictures of her 5year old son
who she promised to snuggle tight when she returns home. Before leaving my shift we hugged and she
thanked me for being with her.
As much as I feel it’s a privilege to witness life, I felt privileged
to be there in these last moments with this mom and her baby. It felt sacred and a good reminder to me how
fragile life is.
:)
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